As we help our children heal their trauma that may be caused by our divorce or separation, it is imperative for us adults to heal our past trauma, as well.
If you are not able to heal your past hurts, they will continue to trickle onto your children. Chris Morasky, a wildlife biologist with 30 years of experience teaching Stone Age skills and nature connection and founder of Wisdom Keepers (nature classes for families based in Los Angeles and Oregon), shared his thoughts on trauma and an intriguing point of view about how our children’s ability to push our buttons is a gift:
“Whatever traumas are not dealt with in childhood continue through adulthood, then through old age, and finally to death. Traumas that are not dealt with eventually are physically expressed as illness or injury and via a lower vitality (it is no coincidence that auto-immune diseases are steadily rising, partly due to this). And… you pass your traumas on to your children.
“The way this happens is fascinating and actually quite beautiful. Your child intuitively senses your traumas and unconsciously finds ways to engage your issues (we call this “pushing your buttons”). Nobody can push your buttons like your own child, right? THIS IS A GIFT. Remember, you can only let go of your limitations when your “stuff” is “up”. Children are born to raise up their parents, not the other way around.”