As coParents, we need to love our step-children as our own. In order to create a new healthy blended family, all members need to be considered equal.
Step-children come to us with the person we fall in love with, our new partners. The children come with scars and fears, as they are the victims from the fall out of their parents’ divorce.
Here are the components of being a successful step-parent:
Yes, they need and crave your partner one-on-one, without you around. And yes, I know this is hard to accept. Support your partner in their relationship with their children. Be the adult! Children need to see compassion, understanding and acceptance in order to learn these skills.
Your marriage or coParenting arrangement as a blended family will be stronger when you accept your step-children as your own. You will also set the tone for a family that models we are all one and in this together. Years from now you will see the results, and for that you will be remembered.