When going through a divorce filled with chronic conflict, how do we manage our emotions and control our behaviors in ways that ensure our children endure as little pain as possible?
Start with the end goal in mind: not a month or a year from now, but many years from now. To help you align your actions with your personal values and long-term goals, visualize the ideal coParenting relationship and how it would look three, five, or ten years down the road.
Then document this vision in writing. Save your writing somewhere you can easily access for future reference. It is, in essence, your vision statement. When your coParent does something that angers you (or you’re feeling frustrated), before you react, re-read your vision statement.
As you contemplate how to respond, ask yourself how that would align with your personal values and long-term goals.