As a business owner and a single mom coParenting two boys, Breegan Jane knows what it’s like to juggle. With a successful blog, a killer podcast, and a growing interior design business, Breegan Jane doesn’t have time to drop the ball. In her words, she shares the top five ways she makes coParenting work.
Consider setting a meeting once each season (four times a year) with your coParent. Bring along calendars, notebooks and anything else you’ll need to record important information. I know what you’re thinking. But we see each other all the time! That may be true; however, these meetings differ in that they will give you both an opportunity to discuss significant life decisions instead of the everyday stuff.
For instance, maybe one parent has been thinking of switching pediatricians, signing the kids up for sports or taking the kids on a long distance vacation. Talking about these big decisions will prevent one parent from being surprised by a big life change. Plan to meet once a season to keep everyone abreast of plans regarding your children. Meeting regularly will do wonders to keep the peace.
Therapy Is For Everyone
The world we live in is growing more complicated by the day, and that in itself can be too much for some to deal with. Thankfully, everyone, from the medical community to the music industry, is working to remove the stigma associated with getting help for mental health issues. When navigating through the challenges coParenting brings, therapists and other professionals can often be the reason you and your ex-spouse stay out of court.
Finding a good therapist who understands the wants and needs of all parties involved will help the two of you communicate about difficult topics without tempers flaring and unnecessary arguments. You may even find that you have an easier time empathizing with one another, and that can only be good for the most important people involved: the kids!
Holiday Time Sharing
This is a biggie. When divorced couples fail to master time-sharing, it is almost always problematic. We all get it. Everyone wants to have their precious little ones with them on the holidays. It is precisely because of this that both parents learn how to put aside their desires and instead prioritize a more peaceful and harmonious environment for the kids.
The key to creating a workable schedule is two-fold. The first: decide to be selfless. Halloween might be your favorite holiday, but if you’ve had the kids the last two years, consider asking the other parent if they would like to switch it up this time. You’ll often find that a little compassion goes a long way in softening a tough exterior. The bonus is that they will be more likely to compromise a bit on the next issue that arises.
The second part involves a little flexibility. While holidays have specific calendar dates, the sentiment is what we all look forward to. Instead of secretly pouting when your ex has the kids on a day you love, elect to celebrate that holiday on the alternate date when you will have the kids. For instance, if the other parent has the kids on Christmas day, why not choose to leave gifts wrapped and the tree up until the day afterward? Postpone your favorite traditions and celebrate them when the kids return to you. Children are much more interested in the time spent with you, not on the date they do things.
The coParenter App!
The reality is that coParenting is hard work! It can leave any parent feeling like they’re at the end of their rope when it comes to finding solutions for everyday problems. coParenter provides tools and resources parents need to make the best decisions for their children. coParenter believes that children thrive when parents cooperate, collaborate and coParent.
The app is an ideal way to help track your custody schedules and manage responsibilities. This isn’t just your ordinary organizational application. The coParenter app keeps accurate and authenticated records of your communication, agreements, and disputes in case you need them later. You won’t find that kind of accountability anywhere else! Download it in the Itunes App Store or Google Play today!
Join Forces For the Greater Good
This one may take the heaviest emotional lifting of all. But if you and your coParent can manage it, the result will be happier, more well-adjusted children. If possible (and it may take some time), commit along with your ex to do something once a month together with the children. Often, divorce and coParenting can breed an unhealthy tension in the air that is not only felt by the adults but the children, as well. These are often the catalysts for acting out and suppressed emotions that their little minds aren’t entirely clear how to express at young ages.
If you and your coParent can agree to take small chunks of time each month to spend time together with the kids, it can often be instrumental in bringing emotional relief to the anxious little minds we all want to protect. The commitment can be for something as small as a 30-45 minute breakfast or meeting to go to the child’s sports activity.
Nobody is saying coParenting is ever easy, but it can be manageable. Let these tips and the coParenter app help you along your journey to healthier, more peaceful parenting!
Read more about Breegan Jane here.