Consistency is really good for the child of coParents. Especially when the child has been on the journey of a divorce or has experienced some sort of trauma.
Going through the parents’ divorce or trauma is a high level of change and leads to a possible potential discomfort with the parents. Especially if the parents are arguing with each other or making the child feel any level of discomfort before, during and after the divorce.
The divorce and its aspects has changed the child’s life’s situation, so consistency can help them emotionally to keep their mind at ease. Consistency helps the child get through this rough patch of adjustment. To assure that their child has a level of comfort and stability in other things is best.
Right away, the coParents should discuss an established schedule and set it in stone. This regular routine that the child can experience, as provided by the coParents, will teach them a sense of security, trust and reliability.
An example is, the child knows that on certain days, mom picks him or her up from school, and on other days, its daddy. Or taking the kid to a regular day care or an after school activity, on a scheduled consistent basis.
Whatever activity it may be at that age group, the fact that it happens on a regular day, at a regular time and doesn’t stop, even though the other disruption is happening, is really helpful.
Written by Katrina Miller, MD; family physician; Chief of Medical Informatics at LA Care Health Plan.