All relationships require rules. Sometimes the rules are obvious and sometimes they need to be established. This is especially true amongst coParents.

For the post-separation coParenting relationship to work well, parents need to establish some basic rules of conduct.

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These usually include:

• Being courteous to each other (being on time, keeping each other informed, making requests in a respectful manner, and greeting each other cordially).

• Being honest with each other.

• Keeping agreements that are made.

• Refraining from name-calling, yelling, swearing, criticizing, blaming and so on.

• Staying on topic, i.e. limiting the discussion to child-related or parenting issues.

• Respecting each other’s privacy.

• Making very clear and very explicit agreements – nailing down details.

 

To establish your own set of rules, we recommend making a list of specific rules (in addition to the ones stated above) that you would like in your coParenting relationship. For example, you might have a tendency of being late, so make it a rule that you set your clock 10 minutes early so that you will be on time for pick-ups, drop-offs, and any other scheduled activity. Make rules that will encourage you to work cooperatively with one another. Like all relationships, this is a work in progress. If the other parent does something that discourages you from working cooperatively with them, consider introducing a new rule.

Protecting the coParenting relationship is protecting your children. People make relationships safe by having rules. After all, children cannot feel safe in their family if the parents do not feel safe with one another.

 

For more coParenting blogs and tools to help you in your coParenting journey, CLICK HERE and download our FREE coParenting app.

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About Allan R. Koritzinsky, Esq.

Allan R. Koritzinsky, Esq.Allan R. Koritzinsky is a retired partner with Foley & Lardner LLP, where he practiced in the Business Litigation & Dispute Resolution and Estates & Trusts Practices. He was also the chair of the firm’s Family Law Team. As a family law attorney representing individual clients for over 35 years, Mr. Koritzinsky focused on divorce law, alternative dispute resolution and worked with colleagues in estate and business planning. He also has experience in tax, valuation and fiduciary litigation matters.

Mr. Koritzinsky was a leading member and fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and previously served as a member of its national Board of Governors. He is a former national chair of their Arbitration Committee and a past president of the Academy’s Wisconsin chapter. Mr. Koritzinsky also has served as chair of the Dane County Bar Case Mediation Program, chair of the American Bar Association Family Law Section’s Divorce Law and Procedures Committee, and chair of the Wisconsin Bar Association’s Family Law Section. Mr. Koritzinsky was Peer Review Rated as AV® Preeminent™, the highest performance rating in Martindale-Hubbell's peer review rating system and was named a 2005 - 2008 Wisconsin Super Lawyer by Law & Politics Media, Inc. for his family law work. He was also listed in The Best Lawyers in America® for over 20 years.

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