6 Wants of the coParent’s Child After Divorce

6 Wants of the coParent’s Child After Divorce

This a great go-to list for understanding of what children need from coParents, following divorce.

What I need from my mom and dad: A child’s list of wants
• I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions. When you don’t stay involved, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t love me.
• Please stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong, and I feel guilty.
• I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
• Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth.
• When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are expecting me to take your side.
• Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.

coParents – it’s a lot harder in practice than it sounds like here. Especially if only one of you is adhering to it. Keep in mind that you can only control what you do. Allowing yourself the temporary satisfaction of digging at your soon-to-be ex only throws your kid under the bus.

Even in an extreme situation, such as Parental Alienation Syndrome, you must not allow yourself to climb into the mud with your ex! It won’t help your children and in the end, will only harm you. Seek the advice of a professional and let them point you in the 
right direction for intervention.

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About Laura Aiello

Laura Aiello is a Divorce Strategist Coach for people who are facing the drastic life change of ending a relationship and want to do it in a holistic, growth-oriented way.

As an author and speaker, as well as coach, she believes in educating people on the decision making process, the “job” of divorce and, most importantly, how the challenges presented can be used to create a fuller, more realized life.

As a survivor of domestic violence, Laura understands the full implications of leaving a harmful relationship and the glorious opportunity that doing so can present.

Starting over from scratch in mid-life, she was able to recreate her life, rising to serve on the executive team of one of the largest fitness companies in the U.S. and eventually finding real love in a new, healthy marriage.

After parting ways with the corporate life, she took the bold step of reinventing herself yet again, getting certified as a coach and combining her love of health and wellness with her experience in high conflict divorce.

Bringing these elements together give her the unique edge her clients are looking for when faced with the end of their marriage – and the beginning of their new life.

As founder of The Divorce Strategist, Laura pulls on all your strengths, as well as turning your perceived “failures” into valuable lessons. This practical, solution based formula is the basis of her coaching practice today.

Website: http://www.TheDivorceStrategist.com
Facebook Group: The Divorce Strategist
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/lauraaiello
Twitter: @DivorceCoachOC

To purchase her book DIVORCE is a PUSH UP: Get Strong to Get Through, visit this site:
http://www.thedivorcestrategist.com/divorce-push-up/

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